Some Words Women Use and Their Hidden Meanings

Many times, the man only has seconds to correctly interpret the meaning behind the word(s) used by the woman. It is hoped that the following information will be used as a quick reference by husbands and boyfriends when communicating with their significant other.

(1) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Face the woman, do not make eye contact and back away sheepishly.

(2) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. In a situation such as just described, it is VITAL that the man NOT attempt to stretch the five minutes into a longer period of time. Failure to completely understand 'five minutes' will almost invariably result in statement #9.

(3) "Nothing": DANGER! This is the calm before the storm. Nothing never means nothing. It ALWAYS means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine'.

(4) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, NOT permission. Do NOT do whatever you foolishly think you have just been given permission to do!

(5) "Loud Sigh": For years, men did not realize that this is actually a word to women and, unfortunately, it was and still is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding a) how and b) when you will pay for your mistake. There is NO way for the man to recover from this in any reasonable time frame. Face the woman, do not make eye contact and back away sheepishly.

(7) "Thanks": While potentially confusing, a woman is actually thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome and leave it at that. Resist the temptation to ask 'for what?' or to try to get the woman to elaborate.
(PLEASE NOTE: There is a vital difference between 'thanks>/b>' and 'thanks a lot'. Thanks a lot is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. If you hear 'thanks a lot' DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) "Whatever": Is a woman's way of saying *&(^%$ YOU!

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous statement which has cost many a man dearly. When a man hears this, it means that the woman has told the man to do something several times, but now she is doing it herself because of the man's failure to respond quick enough. Hours (or sometimes days) after this statement is made, it often results in the man foolishly asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

This is by no means an exhaustive list because, after eons of research and study, men have only now begun to scratch the surface of the complex language of women. We do, however, understand that accurate interpretation is the key to our survival. To that end, we are developing a wallet size version of this list so stay tuned for ordering information and be safe out there!